How do you let go of someone you regard to as your life?
How do you stay away from a love that made you want to wake up each day..
and look forward to spending the rest of your life with?
How do you say no when all you wanted to say is yes.. no questions asked.
How do you turn your back from your greatest love?
It is hard. It is unimaginable. I did not want to make that painful decision. But I had to. I was left with no choice. To this day I swear I can still feel the pain. It crushed me to say goodbye to one great love.
After all the years that passed, I thought I have completely moved on. It was not until one of my office mate experienced the same tragedy. Memories slowly flashed back.. I felt the familiar pain. The longing..I have not completely let go.. the feeling was just buried in the deepest part of me. Suddenly I was reminiscing my life that was. The life that I lived to the fullest until the day I died.
It was an emotional death. I felt numb. I could not help the tears.. Mixed emotions filled me. Questions are overflowing. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I have always been fair to everyone. I tried to be the best partner he could ever have. I fought for the relationship..sacrificed a whole lot to make both ends meet. Then it was four years down the drain. I saw my life crumbling right before my very eyes. Worse is, I could not do anything. I am not supposed to. He made a choice..he needs to father his child. Give his name to the unborn child. The same reason why I am letting go of my own happiness.
Life is not fair. We all have to go through bittersweet times. I am thankful for the lessons learned ...the priceless memories. The self realizations and discoveries within the way. I didn't know I can love someone so passionately. If I have to live my life over again...I'd still want to experience the love that was.
It was an emotional death. I felt numb. I could not help the tears.. Mixed emotions filled me. Questions are overflowing. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I have always been fair to everyone. I tried to be the best partner he could ever have. I fought for the relationship..sacrificed a whole lot to make both ends meet. Then it was four years down the drain. I saw my life crumbling right before my very eyes. Worse is, I could not do anything. I am not supposed to. He made a choice..he needs to father his child. Give his name to the unborn child. The same reason why I am letting go of my own happiness.
Life is not fair. We all have to go through bittersweet times. I am thankful for the lessons learned ...the priceless memories. The self realizations and discoveries within the way. I didn't know I can love someone so passionately. If I have to live my life over again...I'd still want to experience the love that was.
Hi Ate Mel,
ReplyDeleteI came across this entry yesterday and felt mixed emotions, haha. I felt so saddened that ‘that great love’ didn’t end the way fairy tale does (that perhaps is the reason it’s a fairy tale, only a handful of love stories follow that format) but anyway, I got inspired on how you were able to handle and pass a situation that is so emotionally draining. You have an amazing heart so to speak to have surpassed that challenge with still a grateful heart. Learning is just around the corner, all we need to do is to keep picking it up. After all is said and done, you would get to where your rightful place is, to Him who accepts us and loves us unconditionally…
**If you need someone to talk to, to really 'talk' to, you can add me on your list (I bet you have a long list; oh well, for somebody like you, there's no doubt about that :)...
Godbless,
- My
My,
ReplyDeleteIt's been a year since I visited this blog and read this post again. I am so happy to update you that I found my life partner. At this time, I feel so grateful and blessed. It was with a greater purpose that I lost that one great love. God had given me so much more. I couldn't be happier and content. I hope you are doing well.
God bless you too.
Melissa