without hope or agenda

My day was punctuated with yet another healthy dose of romance through the brilliance of Richard Curtis' "Love Actually"...

It struck me now more than ever how I had passed on the chance of some good love for the then apparent strength of longetivity and unparalleled mutual awareness that had developed through time.

Suffice it to say, I was wrong.

As I recap in my head the long gruelling years of silencing my true soul and utter disgregard for my real self, I wonder why - as I have so many times - stayed in that rut. It was in so many ways an inconvenience... in so many ways, incorrect. And yet I found a constant source of love and patience and understanding and SILENCE.

Without hope or agenda, I waited on for what was to be a pitiful and ugly end.

Without hope or agenda, I now step in, again, let myself fall... Allow myself the luxury of this intense emotion that I had never seen in me before.

Is it now, as before, unwise to walk into such unsizeable paths? Is it now, as before, unwise to lay my cards on the table and let the game play on? Whatever the answer is, it should right about be TOO LATE NOW. The truth is out. The cards have been played. The music is now ringing in my ears.

Without hope or agenda, I will tell you this... I feel love. I feel love and I am not about to step down. Not just yet.